The gift of pain.

This is a late night, woken suddenly, enraged by iniquities that I only seem fit to wrestle with at 3am, post. I do wonder, why does God use the times when we are nearly unconscious or covered in suds to bring about our greatest ideas? Those epiphanies that make us say Oh, wow, I really need to write that down later when I have more time/am not shampooing my hair! A notion which comes from the pit of hell because I have lost many a great joke to that way of thinking. Let's face it, we forget about it. Especially the "wake you up in the middle of the night" ones. Which, as I have already mentioned, is the backdrop for this post so I must apologize for any poor punctuation or auto-corrected words. And strange tangents too. Although, with my blog you should be used to a rabbit trail now and again, I am quite drowsy right now so the trails may be elaborate, but we will see.

I can't say that I am a fan of these moments. While feeling greatly inspired, I am also aware of the clock moving closer to the time when I must wake up. And every moment spent clicking on this tiny keyboard is another moment of sleep nonexistent. I love sleep, I could write a book of sonnets to the activity of sleeping. Sleeping is what keeps me going. Without it I would be dead. And so would you for that matter. Sleep well friends, sleep often and sleep in a nest of pillows if you can, it makes you feel like royalty. I can't explain why, I think it must be because no one ever really buys more than one or two pillows for one bed. This is a tragic mistake. Live like kings, invest in many pillows, my friends.

Like I said, I really love to sleep. So keep that in mind when you are reading this, I am sacrificing my most beloved hobby to write this. It is unfortunate too, because I know on top of not sleeping now, I will also be going about my day tomorrow with less sleep than is good for me (I am a full 8 hours girl as of late, and by "full 8 hours" I mean the minimum requirement for me to contribute to society the next day.) But, I am being made aware of the importance of sacrifice and endurance tonight as I struggle to give what is out of my control up to God.

Those moments when there is literally nothing you can do except let the rage churn inside of you while you try to make sense of it. It's horrible and makes you want to cry. You know you are helpless to change anything in the moment and so you have to sort of live with it. You can repress it or distract yourself, but that feeling isn't quick to go away. And in a way I am sort of glad for it, I think these moments are helpful in giving us a glimpse at how God must feel towards injustice. He, however, is not helpless to do anything about it, but he will wait to act on it according to his perfect timing. I read in Psalm 7, "God is a righteous judge, and a God who feels indignation every day." (V. 11) God feels this stuff, he feels it in far greater depth than we ever could. But still we must wrestle with it, and we should give it to him, but even when we give it to God, it's still there. It doesn't make the pain to away, but it reminds us that our God knows and feels it more powerfully than we do, and that he does have a plan for it. So these moments, while painful, really do help us.

It's sort of like growing pains. I remembered getting growing pains for the first time as a kid and asking my mom what the heck was happening to me and were my legs falling off. And if they weren't falling off, was there a way to cut them off because they hurt so much. And then mom would gently explain, in greatest sympathy, that they were growing pains, that I was growing taller. And then I shut right up, because I wanted to be taller. EVERYONE wanted to be taller.

It's funny, the minute I found out that these pains were helping me, I had this weird relationship with them. They hurt, but the hurting helped. It didn't quite make sense to me. It doesn't really compute in our brains that pain would be beneficial. We don't associate pain with good things. It never feels good. For us, the equation is simple: pain = not good, not good = bad, therefore it goes that pain is always bad. And this is how we have come to know and react to the pain we feel everyday. Headache? Tylenol. Cramps? Midol. Nausea? Pepto Bismol. Heartburn? Pepto Bismol. Indigestion?... Ok, Taylor, they get it. We have remedies to fix all of these. Now ladies, I'm not saying that when you have cramps that you don't Midol those suckers to death. And gents, when you have a headache because your lady has cramps, sometimes an aspirin is in order. More to my point, however, is that without all of these pains we would never know that anything was wrong. These pains are warning signs to us that tell us not to eat that again, or to slow it down a bit. Pain is good. It is not inherently bad. It is the warning system by which our bodies communicate to us that something isn't right. Pain doesn't feel good, but it is good that we can feel it.

The spiritual and emotional pain we feel is often treated like a physical ailment. First we try to shake it off, no big deal, it will go away eventually. But when it doesn't, we distract ourselves, just get out if the house go listen to others so you can't hear yourself think. And when we cannot remove the discomfort through a spiritual or emotional mean, I am sorry to say that it is all too common that we use poor physical remedies to numb the pain we feel. I don't want it to go unsaid that I do understand that there is a place for medical help for many different psychological and emotional problems. I am not a doctor, so you will have to forgive me for sounding insensitive, there is a lot I don't know about the subject. But I do see a lot of people using substances to get rid of their problems, when they are fully capable of dealing with them. I see many people running away from their problems. Running away from the pain and discomfort and that breaks my heart.

We need to learn to listen to the pain in our hearts. It is a preemptive to ripping off the band-aid and exposing the wound. It is facing the pain at the first sign and discovering the root of the problem, making sure we understand the cause and solution before we cover it up. Covering it up and leaving the wound alone only works properly if we know the wound is on the right track toward healing. And the pain that we feel from these kinds of wounds is good too. It says to you "you are hurt, seek medical attention" (except mine never sounds that rational in my head.) And once the wound is dressed, and the pain lingers faintly, it is saying "you are healing." Even getting better hurts.

We are awfully good about hiding the pain, covering it up, or finding a temporary solution to an eternal problem. When these spiritual pains come in the night and burden us with anger and fear we have to remember what that pain means. Ask questions of it, don't let it sit unattended, and don't try to cover it up. It is God making us more like him. We are feeling more like he does. We are learning to give him our burdens. Growing hurts. It's not fun. We can all say that we would love the benefits of growth without the process. But it is precisely by the process that we can benefit at all. In our lives, when we experience this kind of pain, we must stop and seek to know why it is there. Don't simply write it off or try to numb it by any means. Sit with it, ask God why it's there.

And while we wrestle with this pain, we ask God why we must deal with it, at 3am when we have church in the morning. And he gently and graciously explains to us that these are growing pains, and they are making us more like him. So shut up. And go back to sleep.

The Journey

I did a horrible job of keeping people updated on my journey down to and at school. Unless you have had the endurance and strength to follow my sporadic, and often cryptic, tweets. I did come home, but it was short lived and I spent most of my free time with Keana (the best friend formerly known as "Kiana") as she is preparing to head out on another journey. I had very little time to update people, and I don't know that it would have been that easy to talk about. It has only been these past few days that I have really taken the time to look back at where I've been and what I've gotten to do because of that. So before the summer begins, and I'm back home in Seattle, I thought it might be nice to share with all those people who have encouraged, prayed for and supported me in this journey.

For the sake of my emotions, I will not discuss the goodbyes (which I call 'see you later's) I experienced. They are not fond memories. All I can say is that I am glad that part of the journey is over, it really was the hardest part.

But here is a lighthearted look at some things I've learned in the last 4 months...

1. Let Mom and Dad (and Aunts and Uncles) help you. It would have been a terrifying feat driving down without one of my parents. My father made this trip so much easier (plus he drove the whole way - what a guy!) and we had a lot of fun watching for birds, talking about Jesus, and talking about how it's so important that he start the garden early this year (ok, that was just me talking.)

Driving through Oregon, we found the sun

Driving down the Tejon Mountains into Southern California

Calling home is not a bad thing, in fact it's incredibly normal. And when mom and dad offer to help with extra costs, or allowing you to live at home for the summer for free (even though you think you're such a big kid), just accept their gifts, and be grateful. My parents have made this transition far easier than it could have been.

2. It's ok to miss home. I have never been more convinced that Seattle is the greatest city in the world. If for no other reason than that is where I am from! The place that home holds in my heart is more firmly rooted than it's ever been. I needed to get away, so that I might realize just exactly what it was that I had at home.

I thought that missing home was a sign of weakness. I couldn't show my homesickness because that might mean I had made a mistake in coming down here. I now realize that being homesick is not indicative of failure, it's proof that you had something worth preserving. Memories are stronger, feelings are deeper because of the people that I miss.

I was never a fan of receiving mail, probably because I didn't receive much, but I didn't really care one way or the other. But here, I've never appreciated the U.S. Postal Service more.

(Hint, hint)

 A post on facebook is great, a text saying 'I miss you' is even better. Seeing a letter in your box at school, however, was an amazing surprise. I can't even explain why. Just know, I'm always up for receiving letters. Any recognition of my absence was a bittersweet confirmation that I was missed, but not forgotten. And that made me miss home even more.

3. You're not made of money, so don't live like it. Students, this is a lesson you must learn.  And trust me you will learn this in one of two ways - take the easy way. If you are just starting out on this kind of adventure, take it slow. Don't shop your way through college. Having new things is a comfort, I know, but consider what awaits you on the other side - debt, and most-likely a job that doesn't pay you what you think you deserve. Live smart. Be resourceful.

Popcorn on the stove top, just like the pioneers did it.

Do things the tough way. Not only is it cost-effective, there is a great reward in it. This pot was the only cooking container I brought with me to school. (Due to the terrific timing of the housing department at school and a freak winter storm, I didn't know where I was living, who I was living with, and what I would need until it was too late and I had already packed. I am now convinced that I would be just fine with a single pot for cooking.) I made many full meals in this thing. Luckily my roommates stocked our kitchen better than I did and they were happy to share with me. (Needless to say I was blessed with great roommates!) Sure there were a few things we had to buy when we got here, but let me tell you, if you can say that you don't really need it - don't get it! We have lived comfortably, without all the comforts that we may have been used to.

4. I'm one lucky girl. Another reason I think I am down here is to connect with family that I have spent so little time with because of distance. I remember visitors from California, but now I am living in the same state with those same people who came to visit. It's been a blessed experience. For however long I am down here, I will take advantage of the proximity. I know I have three different places (all within two hours or less!) that I can go if I need some familiarity. A blessing indeed!

The view from my uncle's beautiful home in San Diego

Being spoiled in San Diego

To Uncle Kirk and Armen: Thank you for allowing me to come into your home for some R&R! And for spoiling me rotten!!! I can't wait for more adventures with you two!

To Aunt Ellen and Uncle Jim: Thank you for sending me off to school prepared with my first bag of big girl groceries! Thank you for checking up every once in a while! Those call at the beginning of the semester were a great comfort! And allowing me some time to visit before I head home for the summer!

5. Life still goes on, even when you're not around. By far the toughest lesson I have had to learn, was going back home and realizing how much was going to change within this next year. A big reason for my being home this summer. Engagements, people moving, and families growing; all the more reason to visit home as often as I am able.

Congrats to my cousin Lindsay and her husband Nathan!

6.  God's story, not mine. I learned some simple lessons, but I still have many left to learn. And as the sun sets on this last week of my first semester at school, I finally have the desire to look back and see where I've come and I am honestly overwhelmed. Some weeks were short, others lasted far too long. There were a couple all-nighters, and I only lost my cool once or twice. I had this romanticized idea about how this experience should have gone and it didn't really happen that way. And I'm so glad.

This is the biggest lesson: It doesn't matter where you go, or how you get there. It doesn't matter if you did a great job, or if you messed up more times than you can count. God can redeem all of those things. It's God's story, and he wants you to be a part of it. If you are willing to give your ideals up for his infinitely bigger plan for the world, you will never be bored.

And that is what makes the future bright.

See you soon, Seattle.

"Marriage"

I must begin this blog with an apology. I don't know how well this message will be conveyed. It's still a bunch of feelings and snapshots in my mind. Please know that I am speaking from a place of innocence and inexperience. I know nothing to very little on marriage as I hear that it's something you really only learn by living it. So anything I say that you as a married, or more experienced, person might disagree with, just shake your head and say "silly Taylor" and go back to watching the Bachelor.

I should probably point out that when I have these discussions, I usually have them with my friends here at school too. This may be why it has been received well - they speak my language, and we're all dealing with similar challenges in life.

Now, the actual issue. Marriage. Slightly pertaining to the recent media highlights that you may have heard of. I don't really want to address it, because I believe I deserve to speak one on one with any person who would like to know my opinion. We'll do lunch. And I simply don't have the will-power to type that much. Plus I should be studying for finals. There's no time.

So whatever side you stand on in the political debate, I hope you grant me the kindness to keep reading. Furthermore, I will note that I'm talking to Christians. People who claim Jesus Christ as their savior and strive to put themselves under his authority. If Jesus is just your 'buddy' and not your coming King, then you may have a hard time accepting what I have to say here.

So, Jesus, our coming King. Coming. King. Jesus Christ is coming back. And really, he's on his way. Hopefully that's clear now.

 Do you want to know what happens when he comes back? Something amazing. Now I am no expert on the book of Revelation, and I don't really want to get into end times stuff because if I did it would be a joke. I know so little when it comes to what's going to happen, and to whom it's going to happen to that I fear that I would not give you an accurate depiction. All I do know is that Jesus is on his way, no one knows the time of his arrival, but when he does arrive the result will be unfathomable and amazing.

Revelation 22:4a says "They will see his face..." My Biblical Interpretation teacher pointed out this verse at the beginning of the semester and I've been thinking about it ever since. No matter who you are or where you are at, as a Christian, this needs to be on our heart always. Five words is all it takes to inspire us to live for that which is bigger than ourselves, and simultaneously washes away all fear of our problems that might interfere with that. One day we are going to see his face, and nothing else will matter. Isn't that amazing? Well maybe not, I know it took me a little while to really see why that was amazing, but know that if relationship with Jesus is your aim, then the idea of seeing his face will grow ever more amazing and exhilarating for you. Keep going.

Now this is where marriage comes in. In the book of Matthew Jesus is asked a question about marriage; if a woman were to re-marry after the death of her first husband, who would she be married to in the resurrection? (And don't worry, her marriages are legit, the Pharisees cite Moses.) Jesus answers "You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." (22:29&30)

First of all, Jesus doesn't even answer their question. And he answers a question as if it were an answer in and of itself. He says "you're wrong." It seems to suggest that the Pharisees are asking the wrong question. Their concern is who will be this woman's husband in the end. Jesus says, in the end it won't matter.

Now I'll bring it around to the point. And remember, this is my opinion. I still have a lot to learn. Be nice.

There's a lot of stuff going around about the definition of marriage. What does it mean to be married? Who is marriage between? From listening to many Christians talk about the problem, it's with the definition of the word "marriage". Christians think it means what the Bible says it to mean, but people are trying to change that. And whether you agree with if that's right or not, it's understandable why someone who doesn't ascribe to God and his Word as authority would have a different perspective on what that word should mean.

Understanding it doesn't mean you agree with it, I just want to come out with that for those who think I'm blaspheming or burning the American flag or something.

But as this debate escalates, I think it is doing something really great for the Christian community. Especially young Christians. It's forcing us to look at marriage closely. Or at least I think it should.

1. Marriage is a means.
There's this ideal for Christians and marriage and I believe it has become something of an idol. I myself am guilty of this. Everything we do, needs to be done as a means of glorifying God. What is music if not to glorify God? What is work if not to glorify God? What is marriage if not to glorify God?

Marriage is a means, it is not the end. We don't glorify God so that we can get married. We should get married because it is most glorifying to God. And it will be, because marriage, like anything else, is hard work. If you try and do it on your own, I fear the outcome will end in separation. That could be legal, emotional, physical, or mental separation. Not all failed marriages end in divorce; although many do. Some just fail even though two people may stay together.

If we learn to glorify God first, our marriages stand a better chance. The best chance.

It goes glorifying God, marriage, glorifying God. Glory begets glory. Don't want until after you're married to start glorifying him.

2. Marriage is not for everyone.
There's a statistic that says that only 2% of people in the world won't get married (source: my roommate). Whatever the real number is, we know that only a small fraction of people remain single for their entire lives. BUT that doesn't mean that you aren't one of them.

The Bible doesn't say "98% of people should get married."  I think that people need to consider more seriously the thought of being single. If for nothing more than to solidify that marriage is God's plan and a true desire of your heart.

Paul says "To the single and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Cor. 7:8-9).

Consider your motives deeply. PRAY about them. Maybe you just know that you are going to get married. Perhaps God has revealed this to you. To that I say, wonderful! Marriage is a good thing. The first people God made got married, and their children after that! But if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? Marriage is a long, difficult jump and it should be considered just as seriously as being single.

The truth is, neither path, married or single, is easy. They are both difficult in different ways. But we write off staying single a little to easily for my taste. It's a serious calling just like marriage and deserves consideration. It is a scary thought, but I don't know if you knew this - so is marriage. There's just more of a market for it, so the advertising helps cushion the blow of toilet seats that never stay down and hair clogging the shower drain. Just saying.

And even if you aren't going to be single for life. If you are single now, or ever will be. Don't accept the cultural norm (a source of, I believe, the present teenage 'crazies') that singleness is a curse. I myself struggle with this, but I know it's not from the Lord. It's the world trying to tell me that I'm not a complete person.

3. Marriage is serious business.
We live in a wishy-washy culture that says "marry someone you are passionately in love with, but feel free to divorce them if that passion ever goes away." It does. But if we look at Hebrew culture in the Bible, marriage was very much like a business transaction. Families arranged marriages between two people. Not that consent by the people wasn't considered, but it was only a part of the marriage. Feelings are fickle. There was a cost, a dowry. And even engagements were binding. *Psst!* Mary and Joseph had such an engagement. When it was found that she was with child and no one except Mary knew the truth, Joseph "resolved to divorce her quietly" (Matt. 2:19). People had thought that she had 'broken contract' by unfaithfulness. Luckily, God 'kind of' had a plan for this baby and his parents.

We have made it very easy for people to end a marriage, and so there is very little risk in jumping into a marriage. (I want to make it clear that I am not pointing fingers, or condemning. I am simply considering patterns in our culture that lead me to this conclusion. I realize that there is a complexity to divorce that I don't understand.)

Whenever we see weddings in the media there is the underlying message: "and they lived happily ever after." Show me one person that was happy forever after their wedding and I will show you a LIAR! Marriage has it's happy moments, but it also has its sorrows. Don't be deceived, the sunset will soon become another sunrise and you will have to work at your happiness together.

4. Marriage is lived.
This is probably going to sound bad. I hope we can stay friends. A marriage certificate is not an automatic marriage. The government may recognize it. But your marriage should first be recognized by Christ. The best way to fight for marriage is to live out a good marriage, to show your community what a healthy marriage looks like. That doesn't mean that when you go to the voter's box you shouldn't vote as God is leading you. But your fight is not against a lie. Your fight if for the truth. Give 110% to your marriage. If you're single, that means finding contentment in Jesus before you meet that other person, or while you're dating that person. If you are married, it means open communication and a desire to sacrifice for your spouse. Things that only come with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I'm not getting down on marriage. I know it's a wonderful, beautiful, God given thing. But it's a serious thing. It's a calling and we need to prepare for any God given calling. I know that this was probably hard to read, it was not particularly fun to think of people cringing or furrowing their brows at something I said. I probably inadvertently made fun of you (I have a problem with that). I may have offended you and I'm sorry. I'm sure there are many gaps in my logic, and I hope that you can accept this as a well-intended, flawed attempt at teaching and engaging dialogue between people.

If you are older, wiser, or more experienced than myself, I ask for your patience; I'm just a young whipper-snapper who's probably trying to fly before her wings are fully grown. If you are my peer or you are younger, perhaps less experienced than myself; I am hard on you because I want to see you thrive on the path that God has for you, sometimes the best way to protect people is to be honest, to prepare them for what's ahead.

Thank you for reading teachers and friends alike. I hope I have not completely wasted your time. I pray that as we navigate these next few years that the church would continue to be the example of Christ's love in a world that desperately needs it.

Not enough

I think yesterday was my least favorite 'holiday' ever. Now, Earth Day isn't technically considered a holiday in the traditional sense, but it certainly gets a lot of hype - especially from big companies (by the way thanks to Target for passing out free reusable bags yesterday!)

And while I am all for conservation, and for doing our part. Passing out free bags or planting some trees one day out of the year is not enough. It just isn't, and I think that we all know this. We don't live on the earth one day a year, we don't just use one tree's worth of resources a year. We use the earth and its resources far more than what one day's worth of  'earth appreciation' can heal. Yesterday, whenever someone said "it's earth day!" or something similar, I would respond "earth day? Pfft! Earth life!" I was mostly joking, but the sentiment was not in jest. It's a lifestyle, earth care can't just be one day; unless we would limit ourselves to one day of water wasting, tree chopping  and plastic using.

Are we convicted yet? Just wait.

We can't expect a holiday, celebrated one day out of 365, to change us. Any holiday.

There it is.

What do we celebrate on Christmas? That God sent His Son to earth. Jesus came!

But is He still here?

What about Easter? We celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection, freedom from our sin!

Is Jesus still resurrected? Have you been freed from your sin? Or did we place Jesus back inside the tomb and return the unbearable burden of our sin back on ourselves?

I am as guilty of this as anyone, especially with Easter. I forget sometimes that Jesus isn't doing something about my sin, he already did it. I don't have to wait until next Easter to be saved again. It is done!

So let's keep celebrating-

let's live the Christmas life - celebrating that Jesus is with us every day.

Let's live the Easter life - thanking Jesus for what he did and living free from that bondage every day.

And if it's within your means, try to live an earth life. I know that everyone has a different view on this and it can be controversial at times. We can all agree that the earth isn't the thing we are to celebrate, it's our Creator. But one of the ways in which we can do that, is by taking care of the creation that he has gifted us with. Live a creation life.

"Jesusing"

Actually Mr. Tebow, it’s still called praying. Although I will admit it is a clever, and convenient usage of your last name, the location and circumstance of your praying does not make it a new verb. And if it did change, as it were, then we would probably call it “Jesusing” or “Daviding” or “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednegoing” or “Stephening” or a multitude of other terms coined from the names of people throughout history who stood apart from everyone else to bring glory to God.

And so, I think “praying” works just fine.

Respectfully,

Taylor

Perspective

Nature documentaries anyone? It's alright you can say it. This is a safe space. You are in the company of a fellow Planet Earth nerd. I'm a fan. Ok, a huge fan! The other night, I saw Disney's: Oceans for the first time. It was supposed to be one of those watch until you fall asleep movies. Nope, I watched the whole thing, in it's (almost) entirety. This could be due to my Little Mermaid obsession, but I find the Ocean to be amazing. It's like outer space, on earth, what even!?!? I want to live there. No judgment please, I already have a hard enough time making friends.

However fascinating these documentaries are, there is a pattern they all take. A horrible pattern. First, you are bombarded with helicopter shots of the ocean, waves crashing, perhaps a dolphin jumping. And then you get into the ocean and you learn about all these different species of ocean dwelling creatures. There's a segment with the sea lions playing, dolphin families racing, migrating humpback whales. It just makes you think, "oh what fun! The ocean is just such a wonderful place!". And just as you are thinking this, watching the baby sea lions play in the shallow waters... an Orca whale comes and chomps down on one and drags it into the depths....


Jerks. I know that Orcas are smart and fun, and Free Willy, and Shamu. But once you get down to the nitty gritty, realizing that some cute animals eat other cute animals, stuff gets real in the bountiful blue, and you're like "oh, the ocean... crazy." As you may or may not be welling up a bit. Again, no judgment.

Documentaries ALWAYS DO THIS! They pull you in with adorable animals with personalty, and then Pierce Brosnan's voice becomes foreboding and he says something like, "But things in the ocean cannot always be this way." And then it's Penguins for lunch! Hopefully you start to realize that this is the circle of life, and that Sea Lions still have fun, even with the always impending danger of Orca Whales and Great White Sharks.

And then, sadder still, is when the humans show up...


Jerks. The fishing segment. Let me tell you, it is easy to forgive Killer Whales for being hungry for seals, it's a lot harder to do that with humans when you watch a Whale Shark getting caught up in a net, and a Sea Turtle trying to gnaw his way out. And DON'T you dare start with me, I KNOW. People need to eat too! I get it. I have made my peace with it.


There is just something about a suffering animal that tears my heart in pieces. I know it's a casualty that we must face if we want to be able to have fish for dinner. I understand, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch. I was sobbing, I couldn't stop crying during this 2 minute segment. I had to completely skip the part on pollution and the polar ice caps. For anyone who knows me; you get it. For those who don't know me and who haven't read some of my other posts; creation care is big on my heart.

But anyway, back to the whale shark, which by the way is the biggest fish in the world. As I was watching these images of animals caught up in fishing nets, I was convicted. I wanted to save these animals, I wanted to call PETA and say "sign me up for that Whale Shark march!" But soon after, this feeling of even greater sadness came over me, when I realized that this movie was taking away the spotlight from a species in even greater need. I said "What about this whale shark? Who will save it?"

And God said, "It's the girl in the brothel, who doesn't realize her love for the ocean because she's never known what it's like to be loved herself."

"It's the boy in Africa who knows how to create a safe and sustainable way to get food from the ocean, but won't because he can only focus on how to get food for himself."


"It's the kid in the city who has a knack for science, but doesn't have the resources he needs to nurture that talent."

It's the people who can help the earth, the (if I may quote Lewis) " Sons of Adam" and "Daughters of Eve"


It's John, who I met in Africa at an orphanage, he asked if he could borrow my camera and started taking shots of everything, he took this photo of myself...

Maybe he's going to be a photojournalist someday, taking pictures that will drive people to bring about real change in this world. That is if he can get the education and resources he needs.

So, yes, we can help the animals, by helping the people first.

It always gets me, yes even me, when I see that there are people out there who would rather help the stray animals affected by the earthquakes in Japan, when there are PEOPLE who have been displaced and lost loved ones. I was in Seattle not to long ago, and at a shop I was given a token because I did not need a bag for my items. With this token I was able to put it into one of two boxes, it would represent a 5¢ donation that the shop would make to one of the charities. One of the boxes was for AIDs relief, and the other, for a humane animal shelter. Guess which one had the most tokens in it? My friend and I thought "only in Seattle." But really, it's everywhere. Look I know that people can be stupid sometimes, I'm guilty of being so, I know. But we cannot shield people from our compassion and reflect it onto a lesser being. I said it. I love animals, but I also know that they don't matter as much as people.

We want to make the world better, but we think that it's by saving the starving polar bears and being nice to homeless dogs. What about the starving families? Or the homeless man? People first, animals second. If animals are your thing, that's cool. But the only way to create a place where animals can be treated well is by first creating a place where people are treated fairly.

From one animal lover to another, come on, they're just animals.

21

I turn 21 in about 6 hours, and like many (if not all) of you, I have been asked the textbook question for someone turning 21 in the United States, “What are you going to do for your birthday?” A simple question, when asked to a four-year-old. But once 21 rolls around, it’s is one of the world’s most loaded questions. I hate to disappoint but I’m not going to multiple bars tomorrow night. Or even one for that matter.

It’s not because I think drinking alcohol is wrong, although I am profoundly opposed to drinking to get drunk and under-age drinking. I do no think there is anything wrong, however, with someone who is 21 or older enjoying the occasional alcoholic beverage with a meal.

But I think it is extremely cliche and trivial to drink alcohol just because you can. I do not think that it is a valid reason to do so, for myself. If you have taken part in this “rite of passage” as someone who has turned 21, please do not feel that I am judging you. I can not, you are perfectly within your right, as someone who is of age, to drink alcohol.

But I do not think that because I will be allowed to drink, that I will. I want to have a reason, and “just because I can” does not cut it for me.

If I drink alcohol, I want to make sure that my decision is based on a real desire to do so, under responsible circumstances. I do not want to decide to drink out of boredom or under the pressure of my peers. If I drink it will be small, and probably not very exciting for anyone except myself. Therein lies the beauty of this wonderful milestone, my drinking alcohol, whenever I decide to do it, is not really about you. It’s about me, and my choice to do it, because I know that it’s the right time.

You can talk about how much fun your 21 run was, or what you can remember from it. If I drink or when I drink, you might not even hear about it. Maybe I’ll be at a family gathering and someone will offer me a beer with dinner, or maybe I’ll be in a restaurant in the south of France, eating bread and cheese, and decide that a glass of wine sounds lovely and ask the waiter what he recommends. (The latter-mentioned sounds, to me, the ideal circumstance to partake in drinking alcohol.)

Anyone who has offered to take me out for a drink, thank you, but no, I don't want to go out. Not because of the company, but because the thought of drinking does not interest me. Tomorrow, I’m going to get my license renewed in the morning, and go swing dancing later in the evening and enjoy my 21st birthday the way I want to. I will not be drinking alcohol.