The Journey

I did a horrible job of keeping people updated on my journey down to and at school. Unless you have had the endurance and strength to follow my sporadic, and often cryptic, tweets. I did come home, but it was short lived and I spent most of my free time with Keana (the best friend formerly known as "Kiana") as she is preparing to head out on another journey. I had very little time to update people, and I don't know that it would have been that easy to talk about. It has only been these past few days that I have really taken the time to look back at where I've been and what I've gotten to do because of that. So before the summer begins, and I'm back home in Seattle, I thought it might be nice to share with all those people who have encouraged, prayed for and supported me in this journey.

For the sake of my emotions, I will not discuss the goodbyes (which I call 'see you later's) I experienced. They are not fond memories. All I can say is that I am glad that part of the journey is over, it really was the hardest part.

But here is a lighthearted look at some things I've learned in the last 4 months...

1. Let Mom and Dad (and Aunts and Uncles) help you. It would have been a terrifying feat driving down without one of my parents. My father made this trip so much easier (plus he drove the whole way - what a guy!) and we had a lot of fun watching for birds, talking about Jesus, and talking about how it's so important that he start the garden early this year (ok, that was just me talking.)

Driving through Oregon, we found the sun

Driving down the Tejon Mountains into Southern California

Calling home is not a bad thing, in fact it's incredibly normal. And when mom and dad offer to help with extra costs, or allowing you to live at home for the summer for free (even though you think you're such a big kid), just accept their gifts, and be grateful. My parents have made this transition far easier than it could have been.

2. It's ok to miss home. I have never been more convinced that Seattle is the greatest city in the world. If for no other reason than that is where I am from! The place that home holds in my heart is more firmly rooted than it's ever been. I needed to get away, so that I might realize just exactly what it was that I had at home.

I thought that missing home was a sign of weakness. I couldn't show my homesickness because that might mean I had made a mistake in coming down here. I now realize that being homesick is not indicative of failure, it's proof that you had something worth preserving. Memories are stronger, feelings are deeper because of the people that I miss.

I was never a fan of receiving mail, probably because I didn't receive much, but I didn't really care one way or the other. But here, I've never appreciated the U.S. Postal Service more.

(Hint, hint)

 A post on facebook is great, a text saying 'I miss you' is even better. Seeing a letter in your box at school, however, was an amazing surprise. I can't even explain why. Just know, I'm always up for receiving letters. Any recognition of my absence was a bittersweet confirmation that I was missed, but not forgotten. And that made me miss home even more.

3. You're not made of money, so don't live like it. Students, this is a lesson you must learn.  And trust me you will learn this in one of two ways - take the easy way. If you are just starting out on this kind of adventure, take it slow. Don't shop your way through college. Having new things is a comfort, I know, but consider what awaits you on the other side - debt, and most-likely a job that doesn't pay you what you think you deserve. Live smart. Be resourceful.

Popcorn on the stove top, just like the pioneers did it.

Do things the tough way. Not only is it cost-effective, there is a great reward in it. This pot was the only cooking container I brought with me to school. (Due to the terrific timing of the housing department at school and a freak winter storm, I didn't know where I was living, who I was living with, and what I would need until it was too late and I had already packed. I am now convinced that I would be just fine with a single pot for cooking.) I made many full meals in this thing. Luckily my roommates stocked our kitchen better than I did and they were happy to share with me. (Needless to say I was blessed with great roommates!) Sure there were a few things we had to buy when we got here, but let me tell you, if you can say that you don't really need it - don't get it! We have lived comfortably, without all the comforts that we may have been used to.

4. I'm one lucky girl. Another reason I think I am down here is to connect with family that I have spent so little time with because of distance. I remember visitors from California, but now I am living in the same state with those same people who came to visit. It's been a blessed experience. For however long I am down here, I will take advantage of the proximity. I know I have three different places (all within two hours or less!) that I can go if I need some familiarity. A blessing indeed!

The view from my uncle's beautiful home in San Diego

Being spoiled in San Diego

To Uncle Kirk and Armen: Thank you for allowing me to come into your home for some R&R! And for spoiling me rotten!!! I can't wait for more adventures with you two!

To Aunt Ellen and Uncle Jim: Thank you for sending me off to school prepared with my first bag of big girl groceries! Thank you for checking up every once in a while! Those call at the beginning of the semester were a great comfort! And allowing me some time to visit before I head home for the summer!

5. Life still goes on, even when you're not around. By far the toughest lesson I have had to learn, was going back home and realizing how much was going to change within this next year. A big reason for my being home this summer. Engagements, people moving, and families growing; all the more reason to visit home as often as I am able.

Congrats to my cousin Lindsay and her husband Nathan!

6.  God's story, not mine. I learned some simple lessons, but I still have many left to learn. And as the sun sets on this last week of my first semester at school, I finally have the desire to look back and see where I've come and I am honestly overwhelmed. Some weeks were short, others lasted far too long. There were a couple all-nighters, and I only lost my cool once or twice. I had this romanticized idea about how this experience should have gone and it didn't really happen that way. And I'm so glad.

This is the biggest lesson: It doesn't matter where you go, or how you get there. It doesn't matter if you did a great job, or if you messed up more times than you can count. God can redeem all of those things. It's God's story, and he wants you to be a part of it. If you are willing to give your ideals up for his infinitely bigger plan for the world, you will never be bored.

And that is what makes the future bright.

See you soon, Seattle.

"Marriage"

I must begin this blog with an apology. I don't know how well this message will be conveyed. It's still a bunch of feelings and snapshots in my mind. Please know that I am speaking from a place of innocence and inexperience. I know nothing to very little on marriage as I hear that it's something you really only learn by living it. So anything I say that you as a married, or more experienced, person might disagree with, just shake your head and say "silly Taylor" and go back to watching the Bachelor.

I should probably point out that when I have these discussions, I usually have them with my friends here at school too. This may be why it has been received well - they speak my language, and we're all dealing with similar challenges in life.

Now, the actual issue. Marriage. Slightly pertaining to the recent media highlights that you may have heard of. I don't really want to address it, because I believe I deserve to speak one on one with any person who would like to know my opinion. We'll do lunch. And I simply don't have the will-power to type that much. Plus I should be studying for finals. There's no time.

So whatever side you stand on in the political debate, I hope you grant me the kindness to keep reading. Furthermore, I will note that I'm talking to Christians. People who claim Jesus Christ as their savior and strive to put themselves under his authority. If Jesus is just your 'buddy' and not your coming King, then you may have a hard time accepting what I have to say here.

So, Jesus, our coming King. Coming. King. Jesus Christ is coming back. And really, he's on his way. Hopefully that's clear now.

 Do you want to know what happens when he comes back? Something amazing. Now I am no expert on the book of Revelation, and I don't really want to get into end times stuff because if I did it would be a joke. I know so little when it comes to what's going to happen, and to whom it's going to happen to that I fear that I would not give you an accurate depiction. All I do know is that Jesus is on his way, no one knows the time of his arrival, but when he does arrive the result will be unfathomable and amazing.

Revelation 22:4a says "They will see his face..." My Biblical Interpretation teacher pointed out this verse at the beginning of the semester and I've been thinking about it ever since. No matter who you are or where you are at, as a Christian, this needs to be on our heart always. Five words is all it takes to inspire us to live for that which is bigger than ourselves, and simultaneously washes away all fear of our problems that might interfere with that. One day we are going to see his face, and nothing else will matter. Isn't that amazing? Well maybe not, I know it took me a little while to really see why that was amazing, but know that if relationship with Jesus is your aim, then the idea of seeing his face will grow ever more amazing and exhilarating for you. Keep going.

Now this is where marriage comes in. In the book of Matthew Jesus is asked a question about marriage; if a woman were to re-marry after the death of her first husband, who would she be married to in the resurrection? (And don't worry, her marriages are legit, the Pharisees cite Moses.) Jesus answers "You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven." (22:29&30)

First of all, Jesus doesn't even answer their question. And he answers a question as if it were an answer in and of itself. He says "you're wrong." It seems to suggest that the Pharisees are asking the wrong question. Their concern is who will be this woman's husband in the end. Jesus says, in the end it won't matter.

Now I'll bring it around to the point. And remember, this is my opinion. I still have a lot to learn. Be nice.

There's a lot of stuff going around about the definition of marriage. What does it mean to be married? Who is marriage between? From listening to many Christians talk about the problem, it's with the definition of the word "marriage". Christians think it means what the Bible says it to mean, but people are trying to change that. And whether you agree with if that's right or not, it's understandable why someone who doesn't ascribe to God and his Word as authority would have a different perspective on what that word should mean.

Understanding it doesn't mean you agree with it, I just want to come out with that for those who think I'm blaspheming or burning the American flag or something.

But as this debate escalates, I think it is doing something really great for the Christian community. Especially young Christians. It's forcing us to look at marriage closely. Or at least I think it should.

1. Marriage is a means.
There's this ideal for Christians and marriage and I believe it has become something of an idol. I myself am guilty of this. Everything we do, needs to be done as a means of glorifying God. What is music if not to glorify God? What is work if not to glorify God? What is marriage if not to glorify God?

Marriage is a means, it is not the end. We don't glorify God so that we can get married. We should get married because it is most glorifying to God. And it will be, because marriage, like anything else, is hard work. If you try and do it on your own, I fear the outcome will end in separation. That could be legal, emotional, physical, or mental separation. Not all failed marriages end in divorce; although many do. Some just fail even though two people may stay together.

If we learn to glorify God first, our marriages stand a better chance. The best chance.

It goes glorifying God, marriage, glorifying God. Glory begets glory. Don't want until after you're married to start glorifying him.

2. Marriage is not for everyone.
There's a statistic that says that only 2% of people in the world won't get married (source: my roommate). Whatever the real number is, we know that only a small fraction of people remain single for their entire lives. BUT that doesn't mean that you aren't one of them.

The Bible doesn't say "98% of people should get married."  I think that people need to consider more seriously the thought of being single. If for nothing more than to solidify that marriage is God's plan and a true desire of your heart.

Paul says "To the single and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Cor. 7:8-9).

Consider your motives deeply. PRAY about them. Maybe you just know that you are going to get married. Perhaps God has revealed this to you. To that I say, wonderful! Marriage is a good thing. The first people God made got married, and their children after that! But if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? Marriage is a long, difficult jump and it should be considered just as seriously as being single.

The truth is, neither path, married or single, is easy. They are both difficult in different ways. But we write off staying single a little to easily for my taste. It's a serious calling just like marriage and deserves consideration. It is a scary thought, but I don't know if you knew this - so is marriage. There's just more of a market for it, so the advertising helps cushion the blow of toilet seats that never stay down and hair clogging the shower drain. Just saying.

And even if you aren't going to be single for life. If you are single now, or ever will be. Don't accept the cultural norm (a source of, I believe, the present teenage 'crazies') that singleness is a curse. I myself struggle with this, but I know it's not from the Lord. It's the world trying to tell me that I'm not a complete person.

3. Marriage is serious business.
We live in a wishy-washy culture that says "marry someone you are passionately in love with, but feel free to divorce them if that passion ever goes away." It does. But if we look at Hebrew culture in the Bible, marriage was very much like a business transaction. Families arranged marriages between two people. Not that consent by the people wasn't considered, but it was only a part of the marriage. Feelings are fickle. There was a cost, a dowry. And even engagements were binding. *Psst!* Mary and Joseph had such an engagement. When it was found that she was with child and no one except Mary knew the truth, Joseph "resolved to divorce her quietly" (Matt. 2:19). People had thought that she had 'broken contract' by unfaithfulness. Luckily, God 'kind of' had a plan for this baby and his parents.

We have made it very easy for people to end a marriage, and so there is very little risk in jumping into a marriage. (I want to make it clear that I am not pointing fingers, or condemning. I am simply considering patterns in our culture that lead me to this conclusion. I realize that there is a complexity to divorce that I don't understand.)

Whenever we see weddings in the media there is the underlying message: "and they lived happily ever after." Show me one person that was happy forever after their wedding and I will show you a LIAR! Marriage has it's happy moments, but it also has its sorrows. Don't be deceived, the sunset will soon become another sunrise and you will have to work at your happiness together.

4. Marriage is lived.
This is probably going to sound bad. I hope we can stay friends. A marriage certificate is not an automatic marriage. The government may recognize it. But your marriage should first be recognized by Christ. The best way to fight for marriage is to live out a good marriage, to show your community what a healthy marriage looks like. That doesn't mean that when you go to the voter's box you shouldn't vote as God is leading you. But your fight is not against a lie. Your fight if for the truth. Give 110% to your marriage. If you're single, that means finding contentment in Jesus before you meet that other person, or while you're dating that person. If you are married, it means open communication and a desire to sacrifice for your spouse. Things that only come with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I'm not getting down on marriage. I know it's a wonderful, beautiful, God given thing. But it's a serious thing. It's a calling and we need to prepare for any God given calling. I know that this was probably hard to read, it was not particularly fun to think of people cringing or furrowing their brows at something I said. I probably inadvertently made fun of you (I have a problem with that). I may have offended you and I'm sorry. I'm sure there are many gaps in my logic, and I hope that you can accept this as a well-intended, flawed attempt at teaching and engaging dialogue between people.

If you are older, wiser, or more experienced than myself, I ask for your patience; I'm just a young whipper-snapper who's probably trying to fly before her wings are fully grown. If you are my peer or you are younger, perhaps less experienced than myself; I am hard on you because I want to see you thrive on the path that God has for you, sometimes the best way to protect people is to be honest, to prepare them for what's ahead.

Thank you for reading teachers and friends alike. I hope I have not completely wasted your time. I pray that as we navigate these next few years that the church would continue to be the example of Christ's love in a world that desperately needs it.

Not enough

I think yesterday was my least favorite 'holiday' ever. Now, Earth Day isn't technically considered a holiday in the traditional sense, but it certainly gets a lot of hype - especially from big companies (by the way thanks to Target for passing out free reusable bags yesterday!)

And while I am all for conservation, and for doing our part. Passing out free bags or planting some trees one day out of the year is not enough. It just isn't, and I think that we all know this. We don't live on the earth one day a year, we don't just use one tree's worth of resources a year. We use the earth and its resources far more than what one day's worth of  'earth appreciation' can heal. Yesterday, whenever someone said "it's earth day!" or something similar, I would respond "earth day? Pfft! Earth life!" I was mostly joking, but the sentiment was not in jest. It's a lifestyle, earth care can't just be one day; unless we would limit ourselves to one day of water wasting, tree chopping  and plastic using.

Are we convicted yet? Just wait.

We can't expect a holiday, celebrated one day out of 365, to change us. Any holiday.

There it is.

What do we celebrate on Christmas? That God sent His Son to earth. Jesus came!

But is He still here?

What about Easter? We celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection, freedom from our sin!

Is Jesus still resurrected? Have you been freed from your sin? Or did we place Jesus back inside the tomb and return the unbearable burden of our sin back on ourselves?

I am as guilty of this as anyone, especially with Easter. I forget sometimes that Jesus isn't doing something about my sin, he already did it. I don't have to wait until next Easter to be saved again. It is done!

So let's keep celebrating-

let's live the Christmas life - celebrating that Jesus is with us every day.

Let's live the Easter life - thanking Jesus for what he did and living free from that bondage every day.

And if it's within your means, try to live an earth life. I know that everyone has a different view on this and it can be controversial at times. We can all agree that the earth isn't the thing we are to celebrate, it's our Creator. But one of the ways in which we can do that, is by taking care of the creation that he has gifted us with. Live a creation life.

"Jesusing"

Actually Mr. Tebow, it’s still called praying. Although I will admit it is a clever, and convenient usage of your last name, the location and circumstance of your praying does not make it a new verb. And if it did change, as it were, then we would probably call it “Jesusing” or “Daviding” or “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednegoing” or “Stephening” or a multitude of other terms coined from the names of people throughout history who stood apart from everyone else to bring glory to God.

And so, I think “praying” works just fine.

Respectfully,

Taylor

Perspective

Nature documentaries anyone? It's alright you can say it. This is a safe space. You are in the company of a fellow Planet Earth nerd. I'm a fan. Ok, a huge fan! The other night, I saw Disney's: Oceans for the first time. It was supposed to be one of those watch until you fall asleep movies. Nope, I watched the whole thing, in it's (almost) entirety. This could be due to my Little Mermaid obsession, but I find the Ocean to be amazing. It's like outer space, on earth, what even!?!? I want to live there. No judgment please, I already have a hard enough time making friends.

However fascinating these documentaries are, there is a pattern they all take. A horrible pattern. First, you are bombarded with helicopter shots of the ocean, waves crashing, perhaps a dolphin jumping. And then you get into the ocean and you learn about all these different species of ocean dwelling creatures. There's a segment with the sea lions playing, dolphin families racing, migrating humpback whales. It just makes you think, "oh what fun! The ocean is just such a wonderful place!". And just as you are thinking this, watching the baby sea lions play in the shallow waters... an Orca whale comes and chomps down on one and drags it into the depths....


Jerks. I know that Orcas are smart and fun, and Free Willy, and Shamu. But once you get down to the nitty gritty, realizing that some cute animals eat other cute animals, stuff gets real in the bountiful blue, and you're like "oh, the ocean... crazy." As you may or may not be welling up a bit. Again, no judgment.

Documentaries ALWAYS DO THIS! They pull you in with adorable animals with personalty, and then Pierce Brosnan's voice becomes foreboding and he says something like, "But things in the ocean cannot always be this way." And then it's Penguins for lunch! Hopefully you start to realize that this is the circle of life, and that Sea Lions still have fun, even with the always impending danger of Orca Whales and Great White Sharks.

And then, sadder still, is when the humans show up...


Jerks. The fishing segment. Let me tell you, it is easy to forgive Killer Whales for being hungry for seals, it's a lot harder to do that with humans when you watch a Whale Shark getting caught up in a net, and a Sea Turtle trying to gnaw his way out. And DON'T you dare start with me, I KNOW. People need to eat too! I get it. I have made my peace with it.


There is just something about a suffering animal that tears my heart in pieces. I know it's a casualty that we must face if we want to be able to have fish for dinner. I understand, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch. I was sobbing, I couldn't stop crying during this 2 minute segment. I had to completely skip the part on pollution and the polar ice caps. For anyone who knows me; you get it. For those who don't know me and who haven't read some of my other posts; creation care is big on my heart.

But anyway, back to the whale shark, which by the way is the biggest fish in the world. As I was watching these images of animals caught up in fishing nets, I was convicted. I wanted to save these animals, I wanted to call PETA and say "sign me up for that Whale Shark march!" But soon after, this feeling of even greater sadness came over me, when I realized that this movie was taking away the spotlight from a species in even greater need. I said "What about this whale shark? Who will save it?"

And God said, "It's the girl in the brothel, who doesn't realize her love for the ocean because she's never known what it's like to be loved herself."

"It's the boy in Africa who knows how to create a safe and sustainable way to get food from the ocean, but won't because he can only focus on how to get food for himself."


"It's the kid in the city who has a knack for science, but doesn't have the resources he needs to nurture that talent."

It's the people who can help the earth, the (if I may quote Lewis) " Sons of Adam" and "Daughters of Eve"


It's John, who I met in Africa at an orphanage, he asked if he could borrow my camera and started taking shots of everything, he took this photo of myself...

Maybe he's going to be a photojournalist someday, taking pictures that will drive people to bring about real change in this world. That is if he can get the education and resources he needs.

So, yes, we can help the animals, by helping the people first.

It always gets me, yes even me, when I see that there are people out there who would rather help the stray animals affected by the earthquakes in Japan, when there are PEOPLE who have been displaced and lost loved ones. I was in Seattle not to long ago, and at a shop I was given a token because I did not need a bag for my items. With this token I was able to put it into one of two boxes, it would represent a 5¢ donation that the shop would make to one of the charities. One of the boxes was for AIDs relief, and the other, for a humane animal shelter. Guess which one had the most tokens in it? My friend and I thought "only in Seattle." But really, it's everywhere. Look I know that people can be stupid sometimes, I'm guilty of being so, I know. But we cannot shield people from our compassion and reflect it onto a lesser being. I said it. I love animals, but I also know that they don't matter as much as people.

We want to make the world better, but we think that it's by saving the starving polar bears and being nice to homeless dogs. What about the starving families? Or the homeless man? People first, animals second. If animals are your thing, that's cool. But the only way to create a place where animals can be treated well is by first creating a place where people are treated fairly.

From one animal lover to another, come on, they're just animals.

21

I turn 21 in about 6 hours, and like many (if not all) of you, I have been asked the textbook question for someone turning 21 in the United States, “What are you going to do for your birthday?” A simple question, when asked to a four-year-old. But once 21 rolls around, it’s is one of the world’s most loaded questions. I hate to disappoint but I’m not going to multiple bars tomorrow night. Or even one for that matter.

It’s not because I think drinking alcohol is wrong, although I am profoundly opposed to drinking to get drunk and under-age drinking. I do no think there is anything wrong, however, with someone who is 21 or older enjoying the occasional alcoholic beverage with a meal.

But I think it is extremely cliche and trivial to drink alcohol just because you can. I do not think that it is a valid reason to do so, for myself. If you have taken part in this “rite of passage” as someone who has turned 21, please do not feel that I am judging you. I can not, you are perfectly within your right, as someone who is of age, to drink alcohol.

But I do not think that because I will be allowed to drink, that I will. I want to have a reason, and “just because I can” does not cut it for me.

If I drink alcohol, I want to make sure that my decision is based on a real desire to do so, under responsible circumstances. I do not want to decide to drink out of boredom or under the pressure of my peers. If I drink it will be small, and probably not very exciting for anyone except myself. Therein lies the beauty of this wonderful milestone, my drinking alcohol, whenever I decide to do it, is not really about you. It’s about me, and my choice to do it, because I know that it’s the right time.

You can talk about how much fun your 21 run was, or what you can remember from it. If I drink or when I drink, you might not even hear about it. Maybe I’ll be at a family gathering and someone will offer me a beer with dinner, or maybe I’ll be in a restaurant in the south of France, eating bread and cheese, and decide that a glass of wine sounds lovely and ask the waiter what he recommends. (The latter-mentioned sounds, to me, the ideal circumstance to partake in drinking alcohol.)

Anyone who has offered to take me out for a drink, thank you, but no, I don't want to go out. Not because of the company, but because the thought of drinking does not interest me. Tomorrow, I’m going to get my license renewed in the morning, and go swing dancing later in the evening and enjoy my 21st birthday the way I want to. I will not be drinking alcohol.

At the intersection of heart and mind

Sometimes I feel that I have lost the ability to be inspired. Perhaps I never had it. I just find myself observing the beauty around me and I think: "I should do something! Paint, draw, photograph, write, play, anything! Just do something!" I want to add beauty to this world! I want to be an artist, not simply a viewer of it. I don't want to be a taker. I constantly feel this desire to pick up a pen and write, but when I do, it seems as though the moment has fled. It's as though the connection between the inspiration in my heart and the ideas in my head is not there. I either have a great idea and no inspiration to get me going, or I have tons of inspiration but no ideas with which to execute that feeling.

Right now, I feel inspired, but with nothing to write about, so I ramble. But I suppose that is better than not doing anything.

Maybe that's it. Maybe it's about exercising your inspiration even when you don't know why. Writing those ideas down, even when you don't feel up to it. So that one day when inspiration and idea finally do occur at once, you are able to create something extraordinary.

I cannot wait to be there.