This may be timely, or it might be a little early. I just hope that it hasn't reached you too late.
I grew up in the church, but by the time that I was actually old enough to understand the things that they had taught me in Sunday school, my family had let sports come between us and attending church regularly. Eventually we just gave up on our old church and went to churches here and there, when we could, when we didn't have a game or we weren't too tired. I was lucky enough to have a friend who cared enough about me to berate me with invites to her church until many months later I finally relented and went. That church is now my home church, and I spend more time there than I do at my own home. I love it there, I love serving in the many areas of ministry that I am honored to be a part of.
But there's one problem, like I said I spend more time at my church than at my home. Why? Because I am fed at my church. I learn, I grow, I gather together with other Christ followers. My home is a mission field. I often feel drained at home. I'm fired up at church, and then I go home and my passion is snubbed. That doesn't sound right. And it's not. I am the missionary at my home. (There is absolutely no disrespect meant towards my parents or my brothers, but it's the truth, they aren't as close to Jesus as they used to be.)
I need a leader, I need a pastor in my home. I don't have that. I am speaking as a woman/girl/daughter/sister and future wife and mother, who for some of the most formative years of her life has been without a father or brothers who could pastor her. This is my plea to any man reading this, be the pastor of your home. Perhaps you are a young man, still living at home under the authority of your parents. Don't let that stop you. Be the light when perhaps there isn't any. You can still be a pastor to your siblings, and even to your parents. It will serve you. You will know what it's like to lead before you actually have a home of your own to lead.
I'm not here to complain about how you haven't done enough or put you down for not realizing this sooner. I want to encourage you. I speak on behalf of your family, present and future. They need a pastor in their home, now and forever. I wish my father could be "pastor dad", I wish he could disciple my brothers, teaching and showing them what it's like to be a man of God. I wish he could pray with me, teach me things, and encourage me to be the woman of God I should be. I pray that he can be that someday, but currently he isn't. I wish my brothers could be "pastor brothers" who are learning what it means to lead and defend a household that serves God. So that one day, they can be "pastor husbands and dads" too!
Furthermore, I want, I need, I won't settle for anything less than, a pastor husband. I want you to teach me and lead me, and pray with me. I want a man who, when we aren't at church five out of the seven days of the week, can bring to our family the leadership we need. I don't want kids who don't want to come home from church. I want kids who want to go to church, but I want kids who know that home is just as safe as church. That they won't be drained there, that they can grow and learn and serve at home too! I want our house to be a home, a church, a sanctuary. Not just to our family, but any person who walks through our door.
And I promise that I will help you, I will be pastor wife and mom! I will teach when I need to, discipline when I need to, and support you in any other ways that you need me to.
Fathers, husbands, brothers, and friends, please be the men you were made to be. Pastors of your home, teachers who are not above being taught themselves, but are up for the challenge of leading a family in every way possible. You won't be perfect, I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for effort. That's what matters. That's what we care about.
Love,
Your family
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