That's right guys, you are off the hook. Well, not really. Because I think that's part of the problem; letting boys off the hook is what keeps them from becoming men in the first place. Before we go any further, I must admit that I don't have much experience in this matter and no books or quotes to back it up, I just know what I've seen and heard from people who have been in relationships. I've even got some insight from my lack of being in relationships as well, believe it or not.
The truth is that girls are looking for their Mr. Darcy. If you don't know what that means, please go look it up, it's a part of being a man, I'm sure. But we aren't willing to let Mr. Darcy grow up and become the man that he needs to be. Our mentality is that if we find the right boy that we can make him into the man that we will want him to be in the future. So girls throw themselves at guys, making the first move. "Putting themselves out there" is a popular term. It's the reaction to the "does he or doesn't he like me?" question. It's always annoying and, coming from the female perspective, a bit obvious. If he likes you then he'll respond to your advances, if he doesn't then you'll take the hint.
But we don't really take the hint. When a girl is smitten, and she decides to put herself out there, she generally doesn't relent until she gets her desired reaction from the boy or her heart is broken in someway. She makes herself a fool, to let this boy know that she likes him and wants something to happen.
All the while, this boy has no idea what it means to pursue a girl. To make an effort to win her affection. It's also known as "wooing" and is considered old-fashioned, outdated. But boys, its a rite of passage. It's what turns you into men and husbands. If you want to be married someday, you are going to have to understand what it's like to continually win the heart of the one you love. Just because you are married doesn't mean you can stop dating. *Future husband, please be taking notes!
And ladies, you have to let him do the work. You are worthy of being chased, it's your right as a woman. You are not only robbing this boy of his manhood, but you are also cheating yourself out of one of the greatest parts about dating, the chase. Yes, it does suck. Because when you like someone you can't just "go get him", so to speak. But would you really want to be with someone who doesn't think he has to put in the effort? Would you want a husband who, just because of a ring, thinks that there's nothing left to do? That you're his anyway, so why bother?
Now, I realize, that I've painted this picture where men are dogs and women are princesses and they shouldn't have to do anything. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Girls, if you want a Mr. Darcy then you have to be like the Elizabeth Bennet that he ends up with. Lizzie was the headstrong one, who had a hard time liking Darcy because of their similarities. They were both stubborn, Darcy showed his ability to put his pride aside, in one of the most romantic scenes of any film I've ever seen, but Lizzie couldn't until much later. Don't lose your spunk, that's why he likes you, but don't be a you-know-what. He pursues you on his time, it might not always be the way you want. You have to be patient. If you want him to come after you, you need to understand that it's not always going to be ideal. But if you have to ask the question "Does he like me or not?" Just assume no until he tells you.
Boys, big secret, men are intentional!
I'm just sick of seeing my friends throw themselves at guys because the guys aren't doing anything. I've learned that if he's not doing anything, then he's not the kind of guy you want to be with anyway.
Sometimes you will like guys, and they won't like you back. You have to be ok with that. A woman will accept that this isn't the one and move on. A girl will ignore this and continue to try and make this guy notice her to the point of repulsing him. And guys, sometimes you will pursue girls who won't want anything to do with you. This is also a man/boy test. How will you respond? A man will respectfully bow out. A boy? Will throw some sort of tantrum and blame the girl and put her down. *I actually do have experience there, some guy threw a fit, via text, because I told him I wasn't interested. He was about 25 years old but he was a boy, of this I am sure.
Girls; let men be men. Stop trying to control every aspect of your love life, even the one you love.
Boys; grow up and work for the woman you want. Be intentional!
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